Photo by Kristian Angelo on Unsplash
How Two Modern Nations Take Drastically Different Approaches to Sharing a Bed with Baby
Historically and culturally established, the practice of co-sleeping is very much a natural part of parenting in Japan. You might even be surprised to learn that most children co-sleep with parents until they turn five years old. Another survey revealed that nearly 40% of families intended to co-sleep with their child throughout elementary school until junior high school. That means many children in Japan don’t sleep in their own rooms until they turn twelve years old.
For many of my American friends, myself included, this might come as a shock. I knew long before even considering having a child that co-sleeping was considered dangerous. Every American pregnancy book or article I read warned against sharing a bed or giving an infant a blanket.
When I went shopping with my mother-in-law, I was horrified when she suggested that we buy baby futons, blankets, and pillows. She was baffled that I wanted the opposite. Even the nurses at the hospital informed me that co-sleeping was beneficial to both me and my baby.
Confused, I spent an ungodly number of hours researching website after website in Japanese and English about co-sleeping. I finally gave in to the idea when I saw how incredibly low infant mortality rates were in Japan. If doctors and nurses in Japan were encouraging co-sleeping, then I felt like the safest choice was to follow their guidance. After many discussions, my husband and I have settled on the idea of co-sleeping until our son turns five years old or until we have the money to move into a bigger apartment.
In fact, many families in Japan co-sleep because apartments are often very small. They wait until children are older to move into a larger apartment with a separate room for their child. This practice isn’t just practical but founded on the belief of building a strong, solid bond between children and parents. Japan is often focused on the idea of community and living life in harmony with each other rather than the individual. This can be a double edge sword but I admire their cultural focus on the relationship between baby and mother.
Please know that I am not a doctor and you should definitely follow your country’s recommendation when it comes to safe sleep. I am not here to encourage co-sleeping in America. There is a multitude of reasons why Japan might be safer overall when it comes to sleeping with a baby.
Japan has an amazing healthcare system.
Throughout my pregnancy, I was closely monitored by doctors even though my son was perfectly healthy. I had an appointment every month, sometimes twice a month, for simple things such as ultrasounds, blood pressure checks, providing blood and urine samples. At every appointment, they measured my son’s growth and checked for abnormalities. They watched my health very closely to ensure everything was progressing well.
After my son was born, they did every test imaginable to ensure that he was healthy. Whether it was a hearing test or a scan, they checked him from top to bottom. When he showed even the slightest issue (vomiting multiple times after drinking milk) they took him to the ICU to be closely observed in fear he would lose too much weight. They even did a scan of his abdomen to check if there was something wrong with his stomach or intestines.
When my son later on fell and hit his head, I took him to the doctor just to be on the safe side. They took images of his brain to check for any damage that might have happened, checked his eyes and reflexes, and gave me warning signs to look out for in case he had a concussion.
From my experience, clinics and hospitals in Japan take most concerns pretty seriously. This makes co-sleeping easier because you never have to guess if your child has a heart condition or breathing issues. You’re starting out on a solid foundation to sleep next to each other during the night.
Japan’s maternity leave is a legal right.
Maternity leave is available to every working mom in Japan. There are some loopholes that can cause trouble for some, which I’ll go into in more detail in another post, but for the most part it’s protected under the law. On top of maternity leave, mothers can take something called childcare leave until their child turns one. This means that moms in Japan are able to save their energy to focus on parenting, making it safer to co-sleep.
It’s also not uncommon for new mothers to go back to their parent’s home for a few months as they settle into motherhood. Sometimes, the new mom’s family or in-laws will visit to help out in whatever way they can as moms get used to the new, ever-changing balancing act.
Moms in America have it much harder. Working a full-time job and taking care of an infant can lead to extreme exhaustion, especially if the mom is waking up in the middle of the night to breastfeed. This lifestyle increases the risk of unsafe sleep between parents and baby.
The Japanese futon.
In Japan, futon (布団) are commonly used as bedding for both adults and children, and they play a significant role in the country’s co-sleeping culture. When it comes to infants, futons are often seen as a safer alternative to Western-style mattresses. Futons are much firmer and thinner, which allows a baby’s airways to remain open and reduces the risk of suffocation. Blankets are also lightweight and airy for the same reason.
Infants also tend to have their own futon next to or in-between the parent’s, meaning there’s plenty of space during the night for anyone rolling around in their sleep. Better yet, since futons are generally on the floor, as children begin rolling or crawling, there’s no risk of falling out of bed. This can give parents peace of mind in the very early hours of the morning when their little one is eager to get out of bed.
Conclusion
Every country views sleep differently. What works for some families, doesn’t work for others. Culture, lifestyle, and healthcare play major factors in our daily lives. Probably more than we realize. There’s no single right way when it comes to raising children and ensuring their health and safety.
What are your thoughts on co-sleeping? Do you and your family prefer it or did you find it easier to sleep separately? Leave a comment to let me know!
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